On Being Mom, Grandma and Great Grandma

Some moms might be offended by this little piece of work, but I think it is hilarious!  My daughter posted it onto my Facebook wall and I made it my profile picture! 
I will 'fess up ... that's me to a T!!  My poor kids are all grown up with families of their own and most already have grandghildren of their own (which means I am a great grandma and proud of it), but I still think I have to give them all kinds of advice, asked for or not, usually not!!
I am positive they sometimes dread to see my number on their caller ID but they know better than to ignore it because I just keep calling till they answer!!!
Of course, I am exaggerating (a little), because I try SO hard not to interfere in their lives but, for a mama like me, it is really hard on a blustery day not to tell my 42 year old son to be sure to button his coat, wear gloves and, for goodness sake, cover up those ears because you know how you always got those earaches and Lord knows, your wife has enough to put up with from you without you coming down with an earache ... however, should you do so, please don't forget to pick up some sweet oil.  Remember how we always warmed it in a spoon first so as not to shock that poor little ear into deafness or something maybe worse.
I surely do love being a mama, a grandma and best of all, a great grandma!!  Those kids are more fun than a barrel of monkeys.  I could play with the little ones for days on end and never tire of them.  I love playing with the little dolls and tea parties and playing house with them.  I am SO grateful, so lucky to have them in my life.
Once when Carlee (age 4 now) and I were playing in the bedroom, she saw her daddy pulling into the driveway and she ran to the door, quick as a wink.  I thought it was because she was happy to see her daddy, but she just as quickly ran back and said, "Hurry, Grandma, hide! My daddy's here and I yocked him out!!"   The "y" on lock was not a typo ... that's the way she says locked!
Now is that not about the sweetest, funniest thing you ever heard?  I could go on all day about little things they say and do.  I tell you, they light up my life!  My sweet, sweet little tiny angels!

Gardening Can Be Fun (or funny)

My daughter in law will never let me hear the end of it if I mention her name in this post, so I just won't ... but this is a little story that is so typical of my family and one that is too good not to share !!
Now, being a gardener is something she is not well known for by any means.  In fact, she is a terrible gardener, cannot raise anything I know of except kids!  Poor little thing plants and sets out flowers every single spring, hoping this will be the year her thumb suddenly becomes a lovely shade of green.  Ain't happening!!  I am here to tell you, she has the worse looking flowers in the county and I might venture so far as to say the entire state!
Her sweet and dear husband (my son, I will proudly add) takes such pride in having the most productive  vegetable garden anywhere around!  I swear he can plant anything in that garden and it fairly thrives.
They have an abundant supply of vegetables fresh from the garden the entire growing season, while the poor flower beds surrounding their house ... well, I just don't know how to put it delicately so I will say not another word about it.  Wild horses could not pull the words out of my mouth or force me to write them!!!  Now THAT is loyalty and love for my daughter in law if I do say so myself.
Okay, so my little daughter in law has expressed her wish to become a great gardener, to know the ropes, what does it take to grow those lush, beautiful flower beds like the ones across the street.  My son, being the considerate man he was raised to be, found a 'how to garden' book online and sent for it as a surprise to her.
Upon its arrival, she sat, devouring every word, confident this book held the key and perhaps this year would be THE one.  My son asked quietly if she noticed who the book was addressed to.  She picked up the box it arrived in, looked at the address label which read (no proclaimed)     Ima Gardener   along with the remainder of their address!!!!!!!  Her actual name was nowhere to be seen and there was already an order form for more gardening books and magazines filled out boldly with the name, Ima Gardener!!!

I am actually not much better.  I used to have a row of potted plants on the wall as you came in the front door of our house.  I watered the heck out of them for days, then would not water them for weeks, then I would remember and drown them again.  Anyway, they looked pretty pitiful. My kids began calling it 'death row' and one of my friends said my plants were the only ones she ever saw that looked worse than hers!!!
I just love my kids! They are so much fun.
Be sweet!!!

How to Bake a Cough Syrup Cake

Okay, there is a contest going on at Mayhem & Moxie to give away a great mixer they have named Bertie!! I want (and, let's face it, NEED) that mixer so much I can hardly bear it!!
It is bad enough that, despite all my recipes for cakes that should melt in your mouth, my cakes have disgraced every grandmother in America!!! I have not one cake wreck to post about, but enough to publish quite a large volume. I have wasted the entire morning deciding which one deserves a spot on my little ole' blog. I can cook anything except cakes and I just know that mixer holds the magic key to baking the perfect cake!! Besides, I have never owned anything other than a hand mixer in my life!!!
More years ago than I care to think about, my oldest son had a number of his best buddies invited for birthday cake and ice cream and a night of staying up late watching scary movies and eating popcorn since the weekend started the next day and the little party goers could sleep in as late as they liked.
I had to make a run to the store for cold medicine for my daughter, so I picked up a few special ingredients for what I hoped would be a birthday cake the kids would never forget.
I set my few purchases on the kitchen counter, grabbed the flour, sugar, eggs, butter and whatever else goes into baking the perfect cake.
I retrieved my trusty hand mixer from its spot in a kitchen drawer, my large mixing bowl and began what I knew would be an award winning cake if it were to be in a contest!! I had everything mixed, lastly adding vanilla and melted butter. I was always in a hurry, considering I had 6 little ones, a husband to feed and never knew how many kids I would find here and there each morning!! I swear, they would be in sleeping bags, on the couch and any other place a tired child could curl up comfortably and sleep. I never minded. I loved it, wish I could bring back those days, but ... oh, well, enough of that!! Back to the cake!! After the pans were safely in the oven, bowl and beaters properly licked and put into soapy water, I set about putting everything away. To my great shock I discovered in my rush to get the cake baked, I had poured in cough syrup instead of vanilla!!! I was absolutely horrified!! Another perfect cake, destroyed again!!!
As I sat quietly, confused about what I should do, I heard sniffles and then ... yes, there it was again!! Coughs!! Most of them had colds anyway and I knew a little cough syrup never hurt anyone. With all the extra special ingredients, plus the fluffy frosting I had planned, they would never know the difference, in fact it would do them good!! And so it did, not a cough was heard for hours after our feast of cake and ice cream!!! I don't think I ever told anyone ... no need to. Now, after all these years, I've told everyone!! So good to get that off my chest, guys!!
Be sweet!!!

Ugly Shoes and Clothes That Don't Match

Though growing old ain't what it's cracked up to be, it does have its perks. I can wear ugly shoes and clothes that don't match and no one gives it a second thought! I no longer try to impress anyone, nor am I easily impressed by others. I wrap up in a horrible leopard print coat that once was very stylish!! I LOVE that coat!! It is sooo warm and I could never part with it. When I get out in the snow, it looks like a leopard has escaped from the zoo, but I am so warm and snug, then people get a good look at me and just silently say, "Oh, that explains it." How happy I am that I no longer have to explain anything to anyone. "Oh, she's just old".
I can watch the Soap Opera channel, sit in my rocking chair and eat chocolates all day long if I choose! I can even be fat and shop in the Big Mama section of a store without feeling one bit conspicuous!!
If I don't want to answer a question, I can pretend I didn't hear it and no one is the wiser!! People hurry to open doors for me and help me cross the street.
Young boys carry my groceries to the car, smiling like they have just won the lottery. "Where do you want this, Maam, in the trunk or the back seat?"
I guess the greatest perk would be learning to accept yourself and realize it is okay to be exactly who you are.
Be sweet!!

A Look At Laughter

We all need a good laugh once in a while - well not once in a while actually, but most of the time. Laughter is so good for so many things. We feel better and those around us feel better. We certainly look better when we have a smile on our face. You know, when we think happy thoughts, we become happy.
Now that just so happens to be true!!
Just try thinking about something very sad that happened in your life and before long you feel sad, so sad that often tears begin to fall. When we make a conscious effort to change our thoughts to the positive, the good things in our lives, the things we are thankful for , ice cream on a hot day, a field of yellow sunflowers, the way our grandma never talked baby talk to us .... you just can't keep that good feeling, that joy we were meant to feel at bay and soon we are humming a song, going happily about our day, making others happy along the way. Life is good!
Anyway here are a couple of little husband and wife thingies that I hope brings a smile to your face, as it did to mine. Anyway, these are too funny not to pass on!


A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Are you smiling? I sure hope so. Later. Be sweet!!!!

The Pills For Our Ills

My daughter in law found this poem in a local senior citizen's newsletter and brought it to me.  No author was given....not even a name for the poem, so I don't have a clue where it originated.  I knew immediately it was something I had to share!  You know, I just can't keep a good or funny thing to myself.  I will probably wake up in the night, think of the blue pill, sit upright and begin to laugh hysterically.  I only hope my poor daughter doesn't call the men in the little white coats!

 

A row of bottles on my shelf

caused me to analyze myself.

One yellow pill I have to pop

goes to my heart so it won't stop.

A little white one that I take

Goes to my hands so they won't shake.

The blue ones that I use a lot

tell me I'm happy when I'm not.

The purple pill goes to my brain

and tells me that I have no pain.

The pink ones tell me not to wheeze

or cough or choke or even sneeze.

The red ones,smallest of them all,

go to my blood so I won't fall.

The orange pills, so big and bright,

prevent my leg cramps in the night.

Such an array of brilliant pills

that help to cure all kinds of ills,

but what I'd really like to know

is what tells each one where to go!!

____________________________________________________________________

Now is that not funny?  I believe I have more stashed here and there, some I've written myself back in the day.  I think I will begin to drag them out now and then 'cause there's nothing better for your health and well being than a really good laugh, it sort of reminds us that it is usually the simplest things in life that bring about the biggest blessings.        You be sweet, now!!

Quote by Ben Franklin & The Puzzle

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man." ~ Benjamin Franklin

I love this quote by Benjamin Franklin.  It is on Darlene Designs today right at the top.  If you like to preserve your memories in a scrapbook, stop by and see Darlene.  Her blog has lots of pretty designs and she gives a lot of freebies.  I download her designs a lot and use the kits, etc. in my scrapbooking.  She would love to have you visit and leave a comment.  I would about give anything if I could design!!  I am so glad there are designers who share their work with those of us not so talented.  

I have a "funny" to tell you today (anyway I sure thought it was funny).  My mother-in-law delighted in finishing a crossword puzzle.  She was happiest when she had , pen held ready in hand, a crossword puzzle spread before her on the big kitchen table!  She waited all week for the Sunday newspaper, for there was always a good puzzle inside waiting, it seemed, just for her to complete!!  One warm spring day, she sat proudly in her spot with her puzzle.  She looked deep in thought for a minute or so, then erased something on her puzzle, the lines in her forehead wrinkled, up came her head and she asked 

anyone within hearing distance, "How do you spell 'baseball glove', with one mitt or two?!"  Everyone burst out laughing as we knew at once that her beloved Sunday puzzle obviously wanted a four letter word for baseball glove and she, face slowly becoming a deep shade of pink, realized what she had said!

Oh, the wonder of a good memory!  How it nourishes both soul and body!  

Be sweet and be good!   Later!

 

A Mouse in the House

My kids were all so funny when they were little----matter of fact, they still are! It was funniest when they were not trying to be funny. Our family lived in the country on a gravel road with rice fields and soybean fields surrounding our yard on three sides so, of course, snakes were everywhere in the summer and mice came in from the fields to keep warm in the winter. Our house was new but I will tell you those mice could stretch out and come in through a nail hole! Though we had moved into a house, we had made it into a home and I never knew how many extra kids would be there when I woke up each morning. I was counting mouths I had to feed one morning and overheard my oldest daughter say to her little friend, "Guess what we have? Betcha' can't guess, betcha' can't!! We have little tiny puppies running really fast in our house--so fast we can't even catch one." I remembered a few days before when a mouse ran along the wall, she was so excited and screeched loudly, "I saw a little bitty puppy running real hard!" How sweet it was. I loved it to pieces. Be sweet and be good. Later.